What a coping style is
This coping style quiz shows how you usually deal with stress: by solving the problem, keeping busy, switching off, leaning on people or feeling it through. Those five habits cover a lot of what researchers mean by coping mechanisms, the things people think and do to get through a situation that feels like too much. The psychologists Richard Lazarus and Susan Folkman split coping into two jobs: problem-focused coping, which goes after the problem itself, and emotion-focused coping, which deals with how it feels. In their study of 100 adults aged 45 to 64 who described their stressful moments over a year, people used both kinds in 98% of the 1,332 situations they reported.
No coping style is good or bad everywhere. Solving fits problems you can change, letting yourself feel something fits losses you can't, and a few hours of switching off can be exactly what a long week needs. The psychologists George Bonanno and Charles Burton call the assumption that a strategy is always helpful or always harmful the fallacy of uniform efficacy. What seems to matter more is flexibility: reading the situation and having more than one move. A 2014 meta-analysis of studies covering nearly 59,000 people found a small to moderate link between coping flexibility and better adjustment, strongest when flexibility meant feeling able to cope or matching the strategy to the situation. So read your result as your go-to move, not a grade.
How the quiz works
There are 16 questions about the moments where coping shows up: right after bad news, at the end of a hard day, after an argument, when someone close to you is struggling, and in weeks when stress drags on. Each one has five answers, one for each coping style, in shuffled order. At the end you see which style you chose most often and how the rest split. If you want more than the tally, you can create an account and Aspen, the AI companion in Vent Now, will write a longer read of the same answers. You do not retake the quiz.
The five coping styles
Problem solver is close to what Lazarus and Folkman call problem-focused coping. Keeping busy and switching off are two ways of stepping away from a problem, one active and one restful, which researchers group under avoidance coping. Leaning on people is what they call seeking social support, and feeling it through is emotion-focused coping that turns toward the feeling instead of away from it. Most people use all five. Each has a strength and a cost, and none of them is a diagnosis.
Keeping busy
Close to what researchers call self-distraction
Stress sends you toward something to do: work, chores, a workout, a project, anything that fills the space. It works better than people give it credit for. A major review of rumination research notes that dozens of experiments show a positive distraction can lift a low mood, though in studies that measure how much people distract themselves day to day, distracting more has not reliably gone with less depression. The cost shows up when the busyness never ends, because a feeling you keep putting off is usually still there when you finally stop.
You will probably recognize it if:
- A free evening after a bad day feels harder than a full one.
- You clean, organize or work out when you are upset.
- People describe you as someone who handles things.
- Feelings tend to catch up with you on vacation or a quiet Sunday.
- You say you're fine and mean it, as long as you don't stop.
You're dependable in a crisis and you keep things running when other people can't. The people close to you may find you hard to reach when you're upset, because you're always in the middle of something. Telling them "I'm keeping busy because today was rough" lets them in without asking you to stop.
Try this. After a hard day, give yourself ten quiet minutes before the next task, with no phone and no list. Notice what comes up and give it a name, even just "annoyed" or "worried." You don't have to fix it. Then go back to what you were doing.
Switching off
One form of what researchers call avoidance coping
When stress piles up, you reach for whatever makes it quieter: your phone, a show, a snack, a drink or sleep. Sometimes that is exactly right, especially when nothing can be done about the problem tonight and you need to recover. The cost is that the problem is still there afterward. In a study that followed 1,211 adults in late middle age for ten years, those who leaned more on avoidance coping at the start had more stress in their lives four years later, and that extra stress helped explain more depressive symptoms at ten years. Drinking is the riskiest version: in a meta-analysis of 229 studies, drinking to cope and drinking for the buzz were the two reasons most strongly tied to drinking problems.
You will probably recognize it if:
- After a hard day, your phone or a show is the first thing you reach for.
- You sometimes look up and an hour or two has gone by.
- Sleep can feel like the only real break.
- A snack, a drink or shopping takes the edge off faster than anything else.
- Problems you haven't looked at tend to feel bigger by the time you do.
You're often easygoing and slow to make a big deal of things. The people close to you may feel shut out when you disappear into a screen or into bed during a hard stretch, or worry if they see you leaning on food or drinks. Saying "I need an hour to switch off, then I'll come talk" turns disappearing into a break with an end.
Try this. Before you switch off, decide when you'll switch back on: one episode, thirty minutes, until 9. Relief with an end point is rest. Relief without one is where this pattern starts to cost you. It has become more than coping if you are drinking or using drugs to get through the day or to fall asleep, eating in ways that feel out of control, skipping meals or purging, or hurting yourself to feel better. SAMHSA's National Helpline, 1-800-662-4357, is free, confidential and open 24/7 and can point you to treatment. ANAD's eating disorder helpline is 1-888-375-7767, weekdays from 9am to 9pm Central. If you are hurting yourself or thinking about suicide, call or text 988.
Problem solver
Close to what researchers call problem-focused coping
Your first move is to work out what can be done and start doing it: a plan, a list, a call, some research. When a problem can actually be changed, this is often the best fit. In Folkman and Lazarus's year-long study, problem-focused coping came up most at work and in situations where people thought something constructive could be done, while situations that had to be accepted drew more emotion-focused coping. The cost comes with problems you can't fix, like a loss, an illness or someone else's choices, where more effort turns into frustration.
You will probably recognize it if:
- You feel calmer the moment you have a plan, even a rough one.
- Friends come to you when something needs sorting out.
- Situations you can't do anything about bother you most.
- You sometimes offer solutions when someone only wanted to be heard.
- You keep working on a problem long after it's clear it won't budge.
You're the person people call when something needs handling, and you make hard things feel manageable. The friction comes when someone close to you wants comfort and gets a plan, or when you try to fix a feeling that just needs room. Asking "Do you want ideas, or do you want me to listen?" takes the guesswork out.
Try this. Next time you're stressed, split a page in two: what you can change and what you can't. Work the first column. For the second, pick something that helps you live with it, like a walk, a talk or writing it down, instead of trying harder.
Leaning on people
What researchers call seeking social support
Your instinct under stress is connection: a call, a text, a friend on the couch, someone to give advice or just keep you company. In a 1985 review, Sheldon Cohen and Thomas Wills found that believing the right kind of support is there when you need it appears to protect people from some of the effects of stress. The cost is quieter. Leaning on one or two people can wear on them, and going over the same problem together again and again can keep you both stuck: in a study of 608 children and young teens, this kind of repeated talking, which researchers call co-rumination, went with closer friendships and also with more anxiety and depression symptoms. That study did not include adults, so how far it applies to grown-up friendships is less clear.
You will probably recognize it if:
- Your first instinct after bad news is to tell someone.
- Being alone with a problem makes it feel bigger.
- You have one or two people who hear about everything.
- Advice from someone you trust settles you faster than thinking it over alone.
- You sometimes worry you're leaning on people too much.
You let people in, which makes your relationships close and makes it easy for others to come to you too. The risk is that one partner or friend becomes your whole support system, or that venting turns into going over the same thing for hours. Spreading it across a few people, and asking what they have room for, keeps it good for both sides.
Try this. Before you reach out, decide what you want: advice, practical help or just company. Say it in the first message, like "I don't need fixing, I just need to vent for ten minutes." People help better when they know which kind of help you want.
Feeling it through
Close to what researchers call emotional approach coping
You deal with stress by turning toward the feeling: naming it, letting it out, crying, writing, or sitting with it until it makes sense. The psychologist Annette Stanton calls this emotional approach coping and splits it into processing a feeling and expressing it. In her study of 92 women who had finished breast cancer treatment, those who expressed their feelings more had less distress and better health over the next three months, while processing went with one sign of more distress. The cost is time, and the risk is going over the same feeling until it turns into rumination, a habit linked to depression, anxiety, binge eating and binge drinking.
You will probably recognize it if:
- You'd rather understand a feeling than get rid of it.
- Crying or writing things down tends to leave you clearer.
- You need time before you can talk about something that hurt.
- Getting on with the day while you are upset is hard.
- Sometimes you go over the same feeling so many times that it wears you out.
You can name what's going on inside you, which makes you easier to understand and good company when someone else is hurting. The people close to you may feel stuck waiting while you work out how you feel, or worn out if a feeling gets talked over many times without moving. Saying "I'm still sorting out how I feel. Can we talk tomorrow?" buys you time without leaving them guessing.
Try this. Give a feeling a set amount of time, like fifteen minutes of writing, then ask one question: is there anything I can do about this today? If yes, do one small thing. If not, close the notebook. Knowing when processing has turned into going in circles is the skill this pattern needs. If the same thoughts keep circling for weeks and your mood keeps sinking, raise it with a doctor or therapist.
How we built and scored it
We wrote the 16 questions around everyday moments where coping shows up: the first minutes after bad news, the end of a hard day, an argument, someone close to you struggling, and a stressful stretch that drags on. Each question has five answers, one written for each style, and the order is shuffled so the pattern is harder to spot. The coping quiz inside the Vent Now app uses the same 16 questions, with the answers rewritten here so each one points to a single style.
The styles borrow from Charles Carver's Brief COPE, a 28-item questionnaire with 14 two-item scales. Problem solver follows its active coping and planning scales. Keeping busy and switching off split its self-distraction scale, which has one item about turning to work or other activities and one about TV, reading, daydreaming, sleeping or shopping, and switching off also covers its substance use scale. Leaning on people follows its emotional support and practical support scales, and feeling it through draws mainly on Stanton's emotional approach coping. It overlaps with the Brief COPE's venting scale, which Carver and his colleagues first grouped with responses that are arguably less useful; Stanton later showed that many older venting items partly measured being upset rather than working through it. Several feeling-it-through answers carry a cost, like losing an evening or going in circles, so that choosing it is not the same as choosing the right answer. Your result counts how many times you picked each style. If two finish within one answer of each other, we call it a blend rather than force a single label.
This is not a validated research instrument or a clinical assessment. It leaves out several things the Brief COPE measures, such as humor, acceptance, religion, looking on the bright side and self-blame. It cannot tell you whether a habit like drinking or eating to cope has become a problem.
What the quiz cannot tell you
- It is not a validated scale. Researchers measure coping with tested questionnaires such as the Brief COPE and the full COPE Inventory, the Ways of Coping checklist Folkman and Lazarus used, and Stanton's Emotional Approach Coping scales. The percentages here only show how your 16 answers split across five styles.
- Coping depends on the situation. Folkman and Lazarus found that people were more variable than consistent from one stressful situation to the next, so your answers about work stress and about a breakup might come out differently.
- It is self-report and a snapshot. A rough month will show up in your answers more than a calm one, and it shows how you see your coping, which can differ from how it looks to others.
- It does not screen for anything. It cannot tell you whether you have a problem with alcohol, drugs, food or self-harm, or whether your stress has become anxiety or depression.
When it is worth talking to someone
If you are thinking about suicide or hurting yourself, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, or contact local emergency services (911 in the US). Vent Now is not a crisis service. Every coping style here is common, and leaning on one more than the others is not a problem in itself. It is worth getting help when a way of coping has started to cost more than it gives: drinking or using drugs to get through the day or to fall asleep, needing more to get the same relief, eating in ways that feel out of control, restricting or purging, hurting yourself to cope, or finding that nothing you try takes the edge off anymore. SAMHSA's National Helpline, 1-800-662-4357, is free, confidential and open 24/7 in English and Spanish, and it can connect you with treatment and support groups near you. ANAD's eating disorder helpline is 1-888-375-7767, weekdays from 9am to 9pm Central. A doctor or therapist can also help if stress has gone on for weeks and is affecting your sleep, work or relationships, or if you can't stop going over the same thoughts. If the stress comes from someone who hurts, threatens or controls you, coping better is not the fix. In the US, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or text START to 88788. If you are under 18 and it is someone at home, call or text Childhelp at 1-800-422-4453, or tell a school counselor or doctor.
Common questions
What are the main types of coping mechanisms?
Researchers most often sort coping two ways. Problem-focused coping goes after the cause of stress, like making a plan or asking for practical help, and emotion-focused coping manages how it feels, like venting, seeking comfort or seeing the situation differently. A second split is approach versus avoidance: moving toward the problem or the feeling, or away from it. Carver's Brief COPE breaks coping into 14 smaller scales, from planning and humor to denial and substance use. None of these systems is final. A 2003 review by Ellen Skinner and colleagues counted 400 ways of coping across 100 coping measures and argued that even the problem-focused versus emotion-focused split is too broad.
What is the healthiest way to cope with stress?
No single strategy works everywhere. Doing something about it fits problems you can change, and accepting or working through the feeling fits ones you can't, like a loss. A 2002 meta-analysis of nonclinical adult samples found that problem-focused coping went with better health overall, but many of the links depended on the kind of stress, how long it lasted and how controllable it was. In the same analysis, planful problem solving wasn't linked to overall health, and seeking social support went with worse health, which may reflect that people reach out more when things are worse. The steadiest finding is about flexibility: having more than one way to cope and picking the one that fits. Relying on avoidance for months or years has the clearest costs.
Is distraction a bad coping mechanism?
Not on its own. Lab experiments show that a positive distraction can lift a low mood, and stepping away from a problem you can't do anything about tonight is often sensible. The trouble is distraction as a permanent plan. In a ten-year study of 1,211 adults, more avoidance coping at the start went with more ongoing and sudden life stressors four years later, which helped explain more depressive symptoms at ten years. A useful test is whether you come back to the problem once you've had a break.
Does talking or writing about your feelings actually help?
Often a little, and how you do it matters. A 2006 meta-analysis of 146 randomized studies found that writing or talking about personal, emotional topics had a real but very small benefit on average. In Stanton's breast cancer study, expressing feelings went with better quality of life for women who felt the people around them were receptive. Talking can also tip into going over the same problem again and again, and researchers separate that kind of brooding from more useful self-reflection. Talking that moves you toward understanding or a next step is the kind to aim for.
Sources
- Folkman and Lazarus (1980), An analysis of coping in a middle-aged community sample, Journal of Health and Social Behavior
- Carver (1997), You want to measure coping but your protocol's too long: Consider the Brief COPE, International Journal of Behavioral Medicine
- Charles Carver, Brief COPE items and scoring (University of Miami)
- Carver, Scheier and Weintraub (1989), Assessing coping strategies: A theoretically based approach, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
- Bonanno and Burton (2013), Regulatory flexibility: An individual differences perspective on coping and emotion regulation, Perspectives on Psychological Science
- Cheng, Lau and Chan (2014), Coping flexibility and psychological adjustment to stressful life changes: A meta-analytic review, Psychological Bulletin
- Skinner, Edge, Altman and Sherwood (2003), Searching for the structure of coping, Psychological Bulletin
- Penley, Tomaka and Wiebe (2002), The association of coping to physical and psychological health outcomes: A meta-analytic review, Journal of Behavioral Medicine
- Holahan, Moos, Holahan, Brennan and Schutte (2005), Stress generation, avoidance coping, and depressive symptoms: A 10-year model, Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology
- Nolen-Hoeksema, Wisco and Lyubomirsky (2008), Rethinking rumination, Perspectives on Psychological Science
- Bresin and Mekawi (2021), The "why" of drinking matters: A meta-analysis of the association between drinking motives and drinking outcomes, Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research
- Cohen and Wills (1985), Stress, social support, and the buffering hypothesis, Psychological Bulletin
- Rose (2002), Co-rumination in the friendships of girls and boys, Child Development
- Stanton, Kirk, Cameron and Danoff-Burg (2000), Coping through emotional approach: Scale construction and validation, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
- Stanton et al. (2000), Emotionally expressive coping predicts psychological and physical adjustment to breast cancer, Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology
- Stanton, Danoff-Burg, Cameron and Ellis (1994), Coping through emotional approach: Problems of conceptualization and confounding, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
- Frattaroli (2006), Experimental disclosure and its moderators: A meta-analysis, Psychological Bulletin
- SAMHSA National Helpline
- ANAD Eating Disorders Helpline
- National Domestic Violence Hotline
- Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline
- 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline
Read next
Written by the Vent Now team. Last updated . Vent Now is an AI emotional support companion, not therapy and not an emergency service. If you might hurt yourself or someone else, contact local emergency services or a crisis line now. In the US, call or text 988.